30º

warm night, passing clouds, you lying on bed, drooling on the pillow, your hand inside the boxer just because, i imagine you only ... you soon will jump out of bed, will fight with tie, feel a mildly sweet taste in the mouth without reminding the reason (it was last night, when i’ve bitting your lip a bit too strong) but you'll disguise it when brush your teeth, will pass a comb in your black hair and recollect my fingers running through them, wipe the glasses and put them on the nose, will check if are there on wallet everything you need (money, documents, train ticket, condoms), cellphone in the pocket, you'll leave home slamming the door and lose yourself in the colorful confusion of mumbai ....

your absence will be with me whole day, i'll wring my hands without anyone seeing, turn on the radio, turn off the lights, will stop breathing without realize it, i'll forget what i was doing, will agree without knowing what was spoken, be sad with no apparent reason, and start thinking in rhymes while hold my hair with your imaginary fingers, i'll remember that your heart does not beat for me, i'll curse that smile on the wall, i'll decided to forget you and get away, floundering, i will repent and turn back, i will be looking for you, i know, without find you in the crowded streets of mumbai ...

i’ll let my smile fool everyone, to do my work with perfection while the sky falls on me, so many stars, so many! even my eyes hurt, my stomach hurts, my breast hurt, my lungs hurt, so many stars and suns moving wildly inside me, and will fix the house, feed the dog with numb hands, they will wake up when i could run again my fingers through your hair, by your bush, your moist skin in the heat of the night, but my smiles are not fake, they are sad, because they do not smile for your arrival coming from the humid night of mumbai ....

when my heart be suffocate and i could no longer bear it i will delete those all, everything you sent me and will throw away all the words and decide never deceive me, will swear to be strong and to measure my boundaries, i'll heard the last song, sang the last howl, shake my last heart, drop last tear while my heart is ripped off like dirty clothes by your teeth, and your cold heart will never never reach me catch me touch me, then i could stay leaning on the wall watching the sun going down through the line of cold water, drowning in the ocean, in the same ocean where i drown my love for you. then you will call me again, you'll say hi as if there had never been conflict or doubt, i will have lost the certainty, my legs will be weak, my heart will sing again and i'll lose myself one more time in the sweet dream of mumbai...

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calm down. i'm a writer ;)